YOUR SITE IS EMBARRASSING YOUR BUSINESS WE WILL FIX THAT DONE FOR YOU WAVE 1 — FROM $999 PRICE GOES UP JUNE 30 YOUR SITE IS EMBARRASSING YOUR BUSINESS WE WILL FIX THAT DONE FOR YOU WAVE 1 — FROM $999 PRICE GOES UP JUNE 30 YOUR SITE IS EMBARRASSING YOUR BUSINESS WE WILL FIX THAT DONE FOR YOU WAVE 1 — FROM $999 PRICE GOES UP JUNE 30 YOUR SITE IS EMBARRASSING YOUR BUSINESS WE WILL FIX THAT DONE FOR YOU WAVE 1 — FROM $999 PRICE GOES UP JUNE 30
WAVE 1   ◆   PRICING ENDS JUNE 30

PIMP MY WEBSITE

Your website is embarrassing your business!

It looks like it was built in 2009. By your nephew. On his lunch break.
We fix that — fast, custom, and done for you!

WAVE 1 PRICING  ◆  STARTS AT $999  ◆  ENDS JUNE 30
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Pimp My Website — Starting at $999
OR GET A FREE ROAST FIRST

A roast is a free, honest report on your website. No fluff, no sugarcoating. Our AI looks at your site the same way a brand new customer would — someone who has never heard of you and has no reason to give you the benefit of the doubt. It tells you what’s broken, what’s confusing, and what’s making people leave without calling or buying. Your full report shows up right on this page in just a few seconds — and a free copy gets emailed to you so you can keep it.

Not sure what your domain is? You survived dial-up. You can do this. Your domain is your website address — the thing you paid someone to build back when everyone said “you NEED a website” and then never touched again. If your site is www.joesbarbershop.com, try typing just joesbarbershop.com first. If that doesn’t work, throw the www back on — we’ll figure it out either way. No slashes. No extra stuff. Just the main address.

1 TO 2 DAY DELIVERY
REAL LOCAL BUSINESSES
STATIC HTML — NOTHING TO HACK
PERSONALLY REVIEWED

PIMP MY WEBSITE

Get your website custom designed and built!

Full custom rebuild — done for you You fill out a 10-minute intake form. We handle everything else. No drag-and-drop, no tutorials, no headaches.
Mobile-first, fast-loading More than half your visitors are on phones. Your site works perfectly on every screen from day one.
SEO foundation built in LocalBusiness schema, meta descriptions, OG tags, sitemap — all the technical groundwork Google needs to find you.
Your real content, your real photos No stock photo strangers. Your actual brand, your actual business — photos pulled from what you already have.
Booking and contact CTAs wired up FareHarbor, Calendly, OpenTable, or a simple contact form — whatever drives your bookings, we wire it in.
Google Analytics 4 installed Know where your visitors come from, what they click, and what they ignore. Real data, from day one.
2–3 full revision rounds We send you a draft. You tell us what to change. Care plan packages include 2 rounds. Build Only packages include 3. Nothing goes live until you say go.
Delivered within 5 to 7 business days From intake form submitted to draft in your inbox. Every site gets a personal review before anything leaves our hands.

CHOOSE YOUR BUILD.

Every package gets a full custom build!
Pick the level of ongoing support that aligns with your business!

Wave 1 — Ends June 30. After Wave 1, prices go up on all tiers. Lock in today and keep Wave 1 pricing forever.
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Rebuild

You already have a site. We audit it, scrap what isn’t working, and build it right.

Built and Sent
Build Only

You have a website that isn’t working, you have your own developer or hosting setup, and you just need the build done right. We audit what you have, rebuild it in clean HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, and hand it off as a complete file package ready to drop in wherever you host. Best for business owners who already have the infrastructure and just need someone to do the build properly.

$1,111
one-time — that’s it, nothing more
No monthly fees. No subscriptions.
  • Full rebuild using your real content, brand, and photos
  • Built in clean HTML, CSS, and JavaScript — fast, secure, nothing to hack
  • Three full revision rounds before delivery
  • Mobile-first, SEO-ready, fast-loading
  • Delivered as a complete file package — ready to drop into any web host
  • You or your team handles deployment and hosting
  • Add the care plan anytime — price locks at Wave 1 rate
Get My Build — $1,111 Today
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or

Scratch Build

No existing site, or starting completely over.

We build everything from your intake form — zero to live.

No Monthly Fee
Scratch Build Only

You have no website, you know exactly what you want, and you or someone on your team can handle deployment. We onboard you through a full intake process, build your site from scratch in clean HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, and hand it off as a complete file package. Best for businesses starting from zero who already have the infrastructure to take it from there.

$1,888
one-time — that’s it, nothing more
No monthly fees. No subscriptions.
  • Full intake process — we gather everything before we build anything
  • Built in clean HTML, CSS, and JavaScript — fast, secure, nothing to hack
  • Multi-page build — home, about, services, contact + more
  • Three full revision rounds before delivery
  • Mobile-first, SEO-ready, fast-loading
  • Booking CTAs and contact forms wired up
  • Delivered as a complete file package — ready to drop into any web host
  • You or your team handles deployment and hosting
  • Add the care plan anytime — price locks at Wave 1 rate
Start My Scratch Build — $1,888 Today
Secure checkout powered by Stripe

THE SWEEP.

Something feel off with your site? Upload your code and we’ll read every line — looking for injected spam, malicious scripts, hidden redirects, crypto miners, and corrupted code. We email you back a clean version. No redesign. No rebuild. Just your code, fixed.

One-Time Code Audit
Upload Your Code. Get It Back Clean.

You upload your website files or paste your code. We scan everything for injected malware, spam inserts, hidden redirect scripts, obfuscated JavaScript, and anything else that doesn’t belong in your site. We email you the cleaned version — ready to re-upload or re-host.

Works best for: WordPress, static HTML, self-hosted sites, and custom-coded pages. Got a Squarespace, Wix, or Webflow site? We can still scan your exported or theme files — you’ll get a full report and cleaned reference code to apply through your platform editor.

$55
one-time
Coming Soon
READY TO HAVE YOUR
WEBSITE PIMPED OUT?

Your new site starts with one click. Wave 1 pricing ends June 30.

Pimp My Website — Starting at $999 Email Weird Business First

Wave 1: Website Rebuild + Care Plan $999 + $133/mo — Website Rebuild Only $1,111 — Scratch Build + Care Plan $1,555 + $133/mo — Scratch Build Only $1,888 — Prices go up June 30